


How can they not?

by traceExcalibur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-17
Updated: 2012-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-29 17:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traceExcalibur/pseuds/traceExcalibur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk Strider hates Nepeta Leijon with every fiber of his being, and the feeling is mutual. Equius Zahhak, on the other hand, loves them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How can they not?

She’s doing it all wrong.

That’s what Dirk thinks he hates about her the most, although the saccharine disposition and the complete lack of care with which she treats her prosthetic tail don’t help her case any. For a moment, the first time he met her, he was awestruck. The kitten-shaped hat, the slight cleft in her lip, the complete dedication to her feline form…it was beautiful. Until he realized she was serious. Not even the slightest shred of irony fuelled her choices. The tail, the roleplaying, it was all  _real_.

So, how can he not hate someone like that? She has so much potential and it is all squandered by the sincerity – real sincerity, not ironic sincerity – with which she approaches her catlike behaviour. When irony is involved at its fullest extent there is a fine line between perfection and utter failure, and she is on the wrong side of the line.

Dirk Strider hates Nepeta Leijon with every fiber of his being.

 

* * *

 

He’s doing it all wrong.

That’s what Nepeta thinks she hates about him the most, although his stony disposition and ridiculous, overblown vocabulary don’t help his case any. For a moment, the first time she met him, she was giddy with joy. He indulged her tea party and roleplaying with gusto, immediately pulling out a name and personality – the great steed, Stallion Thunderclop – and sipping the cameowmile with apparent joy. It was so fun! Until she realized he wasn’t serious.  Everything was about irony – whatever the heck that was supposed to mean. His name, his demeanour, it was all fake in the worst way, because he was so dedicated to the fakeness.

How can she not hate someone like that? He has so much potential and it is all squandered by his inability to just roll with it, to be real, to enjoy the roleplaying like she does. There is a fine line between playing along with someone and mocking them, and he is on the wrong side of the line. And, to make things worse, he isn’t even interested in shipping!

Nepeta Leijon hates Dirk Strider with every fiber of her being.

 

* * *

 

He’s perfect.

Equius cannot tell what he loves most about him so he settles for everything. The rigid way in which he follows his ‘Rules of Irony’ to the letter is inspiring and the way he breaks all the other rules in pursuit of said irony is so… _depraved_. They are equals in robotic knowledge, equals in their love for fine art and literature, for the majestic creatures that are, apparently, called ‘horses’. How can he not love a man like that?

But she’s perfect too.

She is bratty and she does not know how to be a proper lady but he knows he can rein her in, and he knows that when he is angry she will be the one to calm him. How can he not love a girl like that? She is his meowrail now and forever and he will never, ever give her up, even while she fights with his beloved.

He doesn’t know what to do about them, so Equius Zahhak does what he does best.

He watches.

He sweats.

And he wonders where all the gosh darned towels are.

**Author's Note:**

> A really quick minific, entirely inspired by posts from revolutionator.tumblr.com


End file.
